Most people thought that we were the perfect couple, the perfect family. I was an associate pastor in a church of 900+ active members in Southern California. In 1991, we were given the opportunity to plant a new church on the central coast of California. We took that opportunity and the new church grew. All seemed well to those watching. We were a success story. But, just below the surface our relationship was falling apart. In 1997, after 26 years of marriage, I made a decision that broke the heart of my God, the church, my wife and my children. On the outside we looked "perfect" but we were living a lie. It was a cover-up!
God being God wouldn’t allow this to continue. He took those broken pieces and began to create a new marriage. It was a difficult journey and for a long period of time there were two steps forward and one step back. God showed me how I had failed as His child, as a husband and a father. I had to stop blaming my wife and start taking responsibility for my own actions by being the man of God I was called to be. He said, "Enough is enough - enough with the lies, the secrets and cover-ups - do not continue to mock Me." We went into counseling for eight months and then attended a weekend similar to the one we now present. It was the first time in my life that I had shared my heart with my wife. My masks were beginning to come down. Being one way at home and another way with others began to fade. I had been keeping so busy with "Christian Activities" that I had believed the lie… that God would overlook the controlling, insensitive and unloving way I treated Kathryn.
If God were to measure my goodness, surely all of the people I had led to the Lord, all my tithing over all these years… and all of the countless hours I had given to others would tip the scale in my favor. But, God was not to be mocked. He loved Kathryn and me enough to pick us up out of the ash heap and give us a new beginning to touch others for Him, through conferences, counseling, and sharing our story. God didn't want our sin, pain and mistakes to be wasted.
On January 2003, we left the church we had pastored for 11 years to work full-time to help “Grow Great Marriages”. We felt called to make a difference for Christ in all marriages, regardless of their brokenness. Our goal is to glorify Him through Touching Hearts ministry and help to give marriages a new beginning, a renewed hope and even a new love. Touching Hearts came out of our brokenness. You don't have to wait 26 years to start working on your marriage like we did. Do it now!