As Richard has shared, our marriage was hurting and broken. I had become bitter and felt unloved over the years. How could we, as pastor and wife, ever let the world know that our marriage was failing? We knew how to play to our audience. We knew what to say and how to act in public so that others would never know. It would be a slow death, but none-the-less we were dying. How arrogant to think God didn't see the truth and that He didn't mind that we were so unhealthy. An interesting quote states, "What might be a secret on earth can be a scandal in heaven." The atomic bomb that went off in our marriage would either wake us up or completely tear us apart. We chose to fight for our marriage. Wouldn't you do the same if your marriage were hurting?
There are so many secrets in Christian marriages today and so much denial. A national Christian organization has stated that if you look down any given row in church and see 4 couples, 3 out of those 4 are unhappy. How sad the Lord must be, since He created marriage for our good and the good of the Church? Many of us limp along trying to serve the Lord when our homes are a place of sadness and brokenness. Don't ever believe your children don't know. Don't ever believe that you and God are not enough to change your marriage for good.
I know that there are some of you out there right now trying to tune us out, because the truth is you are hurting and it has become a way of life. I've been there. I have cried countless hours for the pain in our marriage. Richard and I have sat back and hoped, but felt defeated and unable to do what the Lord wanted us to do. Our pride was more important than our obedience to God. Facing the truth can hurt and seem overwhelming. But, if your marriage is hurting, you need to take every step necessary to heal. So many Christian couples need help and healing for their marriages but choose not to get the help they need. Swallow your pride and embarrassment. Hope is waiting for you to get the help you need.
Even if you feel hopeless, do it for the Lord. Do it for your children. Do it because God will meet you and amaze you. God says it and we know that it is never too late to have a loving and fulfilling marriage... the way God created it to be. Another statistic we want to share with you is that every 2.7 seconds someone gets a divorce, so during the 5 minutes you read our letters 111 divorces took place. This was never God's plan for marriage…especially Christian marriages. Don't lose hope...God still is a miracle worker. We are a testimony to that.