Listen! All that I ask is that you listen; not talk or do – just listen to me.
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are discounting my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you, and then I try to get about the business of understanding what’s behind my irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So, please listen and acknowledge my feelings.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn – and I will listen to you.
