It is so interesting to see and receive the care I am given, now that I am using a cane for my hurting knee. People hold doors open for me, and with concern on their faces ask me how I am doing. (I will be having a knee replacement in May.)
But, often we are in pain in our marriages and there is no outward sign of trauma or struggle. Often, we don’t want others to know that our marriage is hurting. Somehow, we believe that exposing it is worse than hiding it. We try to prop it up with a smile on our face and pretend connection between us and our spouse, especially at church.
We need to let others know, who can help us, that we are in a bad place. “What can be a secret on earth can be a scandal in Heaven.” Why do we think pretending works? The enemy of our soul, Satan wants us to hide like Adam and Eve did in the garden. Did that work? No!
Asking for help can be a lifeline to your marriage. Waiting, hoping and praying are important. But, seeking help early on can give you a chance to create new Godly history that will affect your lives and generations to come. Be brave and be a hero to all those watching your lives. We know it can make a difference!
Written by: Kathy Harrison
How many of you see your day as very scheduled with no room to breathe? Since Richard and I counsel hourly that is how I often see my days. I decided to ask the Lord to give me “God Moments” (surprises where God had set up the appointment and not us). Wow…..I think God is just waiting for us to ask Him for moments where He breaks into our “schedules” and we get to touch another life for Him.
In May three of my best friends and I decided too many years had gone by without us getting together. Oh, we had discussed doing just that, but the years kept flying by. Finally we met at my home and traveled up to Cambria, CA and stayed at Cambria Pines Resort. We all talked at the same time and laughed until our sides hurt. We were very concerned that the people in the rooms around us might knock on our door and tell us to pipe down.
The second night we were there we ate our dinner in the “outside caves”. At first, we were the only people out there. Then two more women joined us at another table. We apologized if we were too loud and gave them permission to tell us just that. We had agreed that after the meal we would hit the Jacuzzi. After a short period of time, one of the women asked if we were married and if any of us had been divorced. We shared that we were all married and all three of us had gone through divorce. That same woman shared that her husband of 28 years of marriage had filed for divorce and it devastated her. With the children gone, she had hoped they would finally have time to do things together. All those dreams and desires ended with the divorce. Even her own mother was not supportive and that brought her to a place where twice she tried to take her own life.
I offered up a silent prayer and began to go over some of the tools we use in counseling. I wanted her to know how she could walk through her pain and see victory in her life. Then one of my friends shared how much hurt goes along with the husband leaving when you have children together. We all encouraged her for over an hour. One of my friends asked the woman if we could pray for her. She agreed to that. We held hands and each of us lifted her up to the Lord for healing and that He was the Hope she could count on. We all hugged and exchanged phone numbers.
We never made it to the Jacuzzi……..but we were filled to the brim knowing what had taken place was a “God Moment”. We felt Spiritually High just knowing that God had a better plan than us soaking in a Jacuzzi.
1 Thessalonians 5:11a “Therefore encourage on another and build each other up.”
Richard and Kathy Harrison have been counseling couples for almost two decades. As former Pastors, they started Touching Hearts so that they could serve married couples full-time through counseling, speaking engagements, and conferences. Richard and Kathy's unique story has given them a particular passion for marriages. On a personal note, Richard and Kathy have been married for over 40 years, have 4 children and 8 grandchildren.